TEMPLE SHOLOM NEWSLETTER
NOVEMBER 2024
TISHREI / CHESHVAN 5785
SPRINGFIELD, OH

THANK YOU TO...
-Rabbi Cary Kozberg for his pulpit and community leadership during the High Holiday season
-Steve Broidy for his assistance and guidance during the High Holiday services
-The many members who participated in these High Holidays services as they were invited for honors
-Our Shofar blowers - Brian Weiss, Itzca Zohar, Rabbi Kozberg
-Larry Turyn and Sam Beloff for their choir leadership, accompanist Carol Harbaugh, and choir members: Sam and Kelley Beloff, Jacob Daniel, Priscilla Dixon, Itzca Zohar
-Our members who made monetary donations towards this year's High Holy Days, Break-the-Fast, and the Memorial Booklet
-Members who donated food items for donation to Second Harvest Food Bank. We were able to give them approximately 75 pounds of canned and dried food items.
-Alyse, Amy, and Laurie Leventhal for polishing the silver as well as Break-the-Fast preparation
-Kathleen Leonard and Diane Smith for the many tasks and behind-the-scenes work during this time
-Ron Spier, Itzca Zohar, and the many volunteers who helped decorate the Temple's sukkah
-Members of the congregation who are involved in the safety of the Temple

~ PLANNING COMMITTEE UPDATE ~
In a follow-up to Rabbi Kozberg's sermon on Yom Kippur and as designated at the Congregational Meeting of August 18, I am putting together the Long-Term Planning committee for the congregation of Temple Sholom.
This committee will have several features as we begin: 1) Inventory; 2) Financial; 3) Building
This will be a long-term project with many opportunities for congregants to be involved as we move to the next chapter of Jewish life in Springfield.
Our first meeting will be on November 10 from 12:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. at Temple Sholom. There will also be a Google Meet Virtual option. Please contact the Temple office to sign up or feel free to come to the meeting on November 10. I plan to meet monthly at this point, the second Sunday of each month. I look forward to working with everyone on this project.
-Kelley Beloff

~ RABBI'S CORNER ~
(What follows is a version of the message offered on this past Kol Nidre. It is shared primarily for those who did not hear it that evening, and for the benefit of those who asked that it be shared again - RCK)

ON MAKING ASSUMPTIONS: SOME THOUGHTS
Imagine for a moment, you're online, reading the news from whichever source your news comes from. In a sidebar, you see this piece of ''clickbait;'' CONFIRMED TO BE TRUE: MASKED MAN WITH KNIFE CUTS SLEEPING WOMAN IN SPRINGFIELD, OHIO.'' The statement has been confirmed to be factually accurate. Reading this, what do you assume?
First, you would probably assume - like most people - that this is about a vicious criminal act committed by a maniac. Second, given that it happened in Springfield, Ohio, you - as a Springfield resident - might assume that it happened in the parts of town where violent crime is more likely to occur.
And then, after ''taking the bait,'' you read the first sentence: ''The man has been identified as Rick Nedelman of Springfield.'' Now the ''bait-takers'' who don't know Rick Nedelman of Springfield, Ohio - and who don't read further - may very well ASSUME that Rick Nedelman of Springfield, Ohio is a homicidal maniac.
But what if the story attached to this factually-accurate clickbait is really about Richard Nedelman, M.D. F.A.C.S. (Fellow, American College of Surgeons) - and the story begins with a description of his operating on a female patient, in order to remove life-threatening, malignant tumors? Now those of us who know Rick Nedelman of Springfield, Ohio might not immediately deduce the actual context of the story. But it's a good bet that we wouldn't automatically assume criminal intent on his part. On the other hand, the ''bait-takers'' living in Boise, Idaho, or Portland, Maine, or Victoria, Texas, or Ft. Myers, Florida - or wherever - who read only the headline, and maybe the first sentence identifying him, may very well assume the worst about Dr. Rick Nedelman.
There might be several reasons why such a misleading headline - taken out of context - might be chosen to introduce such a story. Perhaps the headline creator didn't particularly like surgeons. Perhaps Rick Nedelman reminded him of someone he hated. Perhaps it was just ''clickbait'' for clickbait's sake.
I trust many of you know where I'm going with this. The infamous interview from several weeks ago has had me thinking a lot about the significant part ASSUMPTIONS have played in the bruhaha that ensued:
-the wrong assumptions about me made by people around the country whom I've never met and have never met me (including rabbinic colleagues!).
-the wrong assumptions that led people, marinating in their own self-righteousness, to respond with vituperative and vitriolic voicemails and letters. So, yes, I've been thinking a lot about how powerful - and how perilous - making assumptions can be.
Take the haftarah from last Thursday on Rosh Hashanah, when Hannah came into the sanctuary at Shiloh to beseech G-d to let her get pregnant, ''In bitter grief she prayed to the Lord, weeping copious tears.'' She prayed silently but intensely: ''though her lips were moving, she made no sound.'' Eli, the presiding priest saw her, ASSUMED she was intoxicated, and scolded her: ''How long do you propose to carry on drunk like this? Get rid of your wine!'' Hannah replied: ''You mistake me my lord. I am a sober woman; I have had neither wine nor liquor but have been pouring out my heart before the Lord. Do not think your servant so debased. All this time I have been speaking out of my great sorrow and grief.'' Then Eli replied: ''Go in peace and may the G-d of Israel grant your request.'' Eli assumed incorrectly. To his credit, he acknowledged his mistake and blessed her.
But what would have happened if he had not only scolded her...but also thrown her out? What if he had not only assumed that she was drunk, but insisted on sticking with his assumption and decided the matter was closed - because, after all, he was clergy. And, as the editor of one Jewish newspaper boldly declared to me a couple of weeks ago in a spectacularly wrong assumption: CLERGY DON'T MAKE MISTAKES!
Had Eli responded that way, the story would have been very different - and our history would have been quite different. But Eli didn't stick with his assumption. He didn't throw Hannah out. Putting self-righteousness aside, he listened to her response. And when she explained the real circumstances, he blessed her.
And then there is the fiasco surrounding the episode of the Golden Calf. You'll remember that when G-d spoke the 10 commandments to the entire people, it was too much for them, and they ''kinda freaked out.'' They told Moses to continue to talk with G-d himself and they would obey. But ''don't make us listen again to G-d's voice, or we'll die.'' So, Moses went up the mountain to receive the rest of the commandments, assuming everything would be ok in his absence. Except...he didn't tell the people how long he'd be gone - because he didn't know. And he didn't know because G-d hadn't told him how long he'd be gone. Moses assumed that the people would be ok until he returned. And G-d seems to have made the same assumption! Except they freaked out again...and THEY assumed:
-that Moses had either died or abandoned them
-that G-d had also abandoned them
-that the whole Exodus adventure was a scam, that they would die in the desert, and that they needed to return to Egypt - with their new Golden Calf to lead them
For sure, we don't usually think of G-d making mistakes. But we human beings sure do make mistakes! And yes, so often those mistakes are the result of OUR own mistaken assumptions - often with serious and unfortunate consequences. And when that happens - and it happens a lot! - that old adage does indeed ring true: ''The word ASSUME often makes an ASS of U and ME.'' (here I would ask: please do not ASSUME that I just uttered a profanity, because the dictionary gives several definitions for the word ''a,s,s.'' It can refer to an animal with long ears belonging to the genus Equus. It can refer to the buttocks. It can refer to a stupid or foolish person. So...with this in mind, please don't assume that you know which definition I'm assuming.)
What exactly are assumptions? Assumptions are suppositions we make based on previous experiences and connections. They are thoughts or ideas that are accepted as true or as certain to be or happen, but that we do't yet have proof of. Making assumptions is something human beings naturally do, and they're certainly not always a bad thing. One reason we have survived as a species is because evolution has made us into assumption-making machines. They are necessary and when done carefully and with careful consideration - they can be most useful.
But too often such care and consideration is absent. Too often we get careless and jump to conclusions (as they say, jumping to conclusions is the only exercise some people ever get). And when we automatically assume the worst about people, there are certain to be misunderstandings and plenty of lashon hara - evil speech, gossip, slander. When this happens, the words of the actor Henry Winkler (better known as ''the Fonz'') ring true: ''assumptions can be the termites of relationships.''
On Yom Kippur among the sins which we confess are: 1) the sin of deceiving ourselves and others with half-truths and 2) the sin of passing judgment without knowledge of the facts. Our Sages teach that all the sins we commit ultimately can be traced back to the sin of the Golden Calf. Thus, it follows that OUR sins somehow can be traced back to THAT ONE FATEFUL ASSUMPTION made by our ancestors: that they had been abandoned by G-d and Moses - which led to the making of the Golden Calf!! Considering how many sins have been committed over the centuries due to so many bad assumptions - that's a heck of a lot of termite damage!
For sure, it is impossible to be totally rid of termites, and it's also impossible to totally stop making bad assumptions. But just as we do what is necessary to protect our homes from termite damage, we should also do what is necessary to protect our relationships from the damage caused by making bad assumptions.
1) We must do our ''due diligence'' to check out the accuracy of our assumptions. The Torah commands: when something in the community has occurred that needs correcting, and the facts aren't yet clear - v'darashta haytayv - YOU MUST INVESTIGATE THOROUGHLY. This is reiterated in the very first teaching in Pirke Avot, the Ethics of the Sages: BE DELIBERATE IN JUDGMENT: determine what the actual facts are, what is the context, and what are the extenuating circumstances. In legal cases if there are witnesses: question them extensively and thoroughly, lest your laziness result in a wrongful conviction. If you're a journalist, INVESTIGATE THOROUGHLY, and heed the sage words of the late Edward R. Murrow: ''don't tell me what you THINK; tell me what you KNOW.
The Torah's expectation to ''INVESTIGATE THOROUGHLY'' and ''BE DELIBERATE IN JUDGMENT'' is precisely why ''pursue'' is the operative word in the commandment ''JUSTICE, JUSTICE SHALL YOU PURSUE.'' The commandment is not to create or establish justice. It is ''pursue justice'' - chase after it, put forth the effort and energy to ''catch it.'' Without looking into the matter more thoroughly, it is unlikely that it would ever occur to you that sometimes a man with a mask and a knife is really saving a life, not taking a life.
2) Remember that darashta haytayv not only translates as ''you shall thoroughly investigate,'' but also ''you shall carefully require.'' Not only must we require a thorough investigation of the facts, but also require of ourselves the proper mindset of fairness and objectivity:
-Require of ourselves to be on guard against responding too quickly and too emotionally.
-Require of ourselves to be more humble and less self-righteous.
-Require of ourselves that we remember that even though we may assume we know the truth about a certain person or situation, only G-d knows the whole truth. And therefore -
-Require of ourselves to give others the benefit of the doubt at the outset, just as we would want the same done for us. And as the facts become clear,
-Require of ourselves a commitment to decide fairly and dispassionately, and not be seduced by our emotions.
3) Require of ourselves to follow the teaching of the Sufi mystic Rumi: BEFORE YOU SPEAK, LET WHAT YOU SAY PASS THROUGH THREE GATES: IS IT TRUE? IS IT NECESSARY? IS IT SAID WITH KINDNESS?
Friends, as we begin this new year, may the commandment ''justice, justice you shall pursue'' continue to inspire our ongoing commitment to tikkun olam. And may we remember that tikkun olam - repairing the world - really begins with tikkun atsmi - repairing ourselves. And repairing ourselves must include repairing our broken/damaged relationships with other people...AND with ourselves.
May this year see each of us doing some of our repair work by being more cautious and careful in the assumptions we make.
May this year see each of us working to be more of a mensch (a decent human being) and less of an ''a.s.s.''
May this year keep us mindful that sometimes, like a surgeon or the Lone Ranger, a man in a mask isn't always what we might assume.
-Rabbi Cary Kozberg

~ CONTRIBUTIONS ~
SPECIAL
-In memory of Stan Nedelman from Tom and Mary Lou Loftis

GOLD
-In memory of Stanley Nedelman from Debbie and Ton Wein
-In honor of the birth of Sidney Jiro Hetherington from Debbie and Tom Wein

JEFFREY EBNER YOUTH FUND
-In loving memory of my son, Jeff Ebner, from Lyla Bailin

~ YAHRZEIT LIST ~
NOV 1: Barbara Kempler, Sylvia Anne Lapinsky, Pearl S. Levine, Abraham Silberberg, Arthur A. Strauss, Gloria L. Zitsman, Eva Wile Friedsam, Gabriel Greenland

NOV 8: Helen Pines Alper, Morris Freed, Jacob LaSalle, Joseph S. Lessner, Hilbert Beloff (brother of Larry Beloff), David Draisen (brother of Bernice Goldman), Murray Ebner, Arthur Nedelman

NOV 15: Gertrude Ann Donn, Jeffrey David Ebner (son of Dick Ebner), Clarence Van Gabbard, Phillip Mendelson, Joe Pollens, Percy H. Rosenfield Sr, Ilse B. Sander, Maurice Schechter, Max Stessel, Bernard W. Weiser (father of Judith Weiser), Henrietta Marks Goldman, Ruth K. Marcus (mother of Faye Flack)

NOV 22: Joseph Ebner, Joseph Fishbain, Ida Holzman, Judy W. Kossoff, Ch. Bleme Maybruck, Harry Myers, Louis Rich, Aaron Sachs, Stanley Irwin Sachs, Joseph M. Salzer, Norma Thurman, Elick Zitsman, Norman Myron Weiser

NOV 29: Laura Ackerman (mother of Joan Ackerman), Shirley Ruth Buchfirer, Martin A. Levine (father of Jeff Levine), Sanford Rik Newman, Ethel H. Sanders, Sarah P. Silberberg, Emilie Turyn (sister of Larry Turyn), Edward Frand, David M. Levitan, Steven Abraham Shapiro (brother of Jerome Shapiro), Tillie Shifman

DEC 6: Max Beloff (father of Larry Beloff), Harry Berman, Jean Block, Bertha Frand Ebner, Pearl E. Friedman, Emil Gross, Raymond Schneider (father of Larry and Bruce Schneider), Dorothy Bandman, Rose Broidy (mother of Steve Broidy), Ben Farber, Paulette Grodner (wife of Jack Grodner), Leonard Kurland, Rosalyn Horwitz Leventhal (mother of Aaron Leventhal), Abe Margolis